depression · fear and anxiety · suicide

Week 9 End – Pizza, Guilt, Worries

It is now the end of week 9 and it is 12:11AM right now and I had ordered pizza. Although, I feel like a huge dick for not giving the pizza guy a tip even though he delivered in the rain. Well what am I supposed to do man they never asked for a tip before so I just assumed I didn’t need to. Plus I didn’t have cash on hand. Damn he was pissed. Oh well. Can’t do anything about it. Probably won’t do anything about it because I am a cheap-ass motherfucker.

Anyways, Fridays are always so quiet and I didn’t have anything to do.

I am now thinking a lot of bad things that may happen to me. I am getting worried sick for no good reason. And worried about the things I do not need to worry about, increasing my anxiety levels and making me more tired than I am supposed to. I just had 3 anxiety pills but it’s not working and I am just getting very sleepy and I am about to pass out.

Seriously, I need to start telling people not to give me any bad news because little do they know, it’s going to consume my days. I need to forget about it.

This week had been a slow week. I just found out that the contract technically ends October 20th. So that’s like 17 more weeks to go. I can do this. I can get through this.

I am just pissed that my co-worker, who doesn’t know how to do anything technical is basically taking up all the credit by saying ‘I’ instead of ‘we.’ That could also probably because I am a sensitive motherfucker. But call me sensitive all you want but I did most of the work while he just talked and talked like a fucking bitch and it’s kinda diving me nuts and I am going crazy and I am about to die. I mean tbh I die everyday mentally so it’s not a surprise anymore andddddasdudashdiashdsa

PLEASE LET ME ENJOY MY WEEKEND  😥

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