depression

Jealous

I think I know why I am depressed today. I am jealous of other’s people’s lives.

In the morning I was watching Illya Kuvhinov, who showcased this really cool fan video he made. Then I was looking at Ross Tran, artgerm, sakimichan, and many other instagram artists.. I am so jealous that they can live their lives doing what they love. I on the other hand, am trying so hard to get out of the life I don’t want. Even so, even if I get out of this life, there is not guarantee that I’ll feel better than this.

Maybe I’m just always sad, and always looking for more that no matter what the circumstances, I will always be depressed. And looking for something else.

And the thought that I will never be satisfied with myself terrifies me.

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